Man, Who Is The Number One Woman In Your Life?
Men, if you have recently married or have been married for a while, but have not established who the number one woman is in your life, you are probably experiencing some “drama” between your wife, mother and/or your sisters.
As a matter of fact you don’t have to be married, but seriously dating, you may be already dealing with this issue.
I hear you asking, “Why is this important?”
Because your wife or girlfriend knows that your mother is responsible for giving birth to you, nurturing and caring for you for many years. Therefore; she knows she holds a special place in your heart and life. The same can be said regarding your sisters. They grew up with you and you all have shared many special occasions and memories together.
Since these women have a history of many years of love for you, your wife or girlfriend knows they have a lot of influence in your life. Therefore; she wants to know, “Who is the number one woman in your life?”
If you are married, then the decision should be a very easy one. You must establish a healthy boundary for your mother and sisters, by letting them know that your wife is now the number one woman in your life. Yes, you still love them, but your wife comes first.
Men, if you fail to “man up” and handle your business in this area, your wife’s “in-laws” may become her “outlaws”, if you don’t deal with this issue properly!!
I realize for many of us this can be a difficult process, because many of us have not had our fathers involved in our lives, and Mom has been both our mother and father. Therefore; we feel a great deal of gratitude and loyalty to our mother. See the About Section for more information on my story. Also, see Dealing With Your Daddy Wounds for more Information.
I know from personal experience the problems this issue can cause in your marriage.
During the early years of my marriage, my wife, my mom, and sisters had some difficulties getting along. My mom and sisters would ask me for help, because of my feeling of loyalty; I would do certain things they asked without discussing it with my wife. As a result, my wife felt disrespected.
Once I realized the problems this caused in my relationship with my wife, I knew I had to address this issue with my family. I had to let my mother and sisters know that my wife is now number one and they would have to respect her.
Therefore; when they called me afterward and asked for help, I let them know that I would discuss it with my wife and I would let them know what WE decided. Soon they got the point and started including in their request, “Discuss it with your wife and let me know”.
Now, their relationship is great!! They love and respect my wife and she loves and respects them as well. My mom views my wife as one of her daughters and my sisters see her as their sister.
Men, if you fail to deal with this situation; you will always feel like you are caught in a “tug-a-war” between these special women in your life. Once you deal with it properly, by establishing boundaries for your mom and/or sisters, they will be able to respect and hopefully love and appreciate your wife.
Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.
Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!!
For the woman in your life, my wife (Sylvia) has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com.
Also, we have a joint site focused on the needs and concerns of couples (i.e. married, engaged, and seriously dating). This site is focused on helping couples to grow together through personal development. The site is called, www.marriagerhythm.com.
Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts.
Again, thanks for visiting this site.
Randy
The “DASH” Guy
