THE "DASH" GUY

 

This article is a follow up to a couple articles I wrote, “A Dad’s Blueprint For Academic Success Part 1” and “A Dad’s Blueprint For Academic Success Part 2”. 

 

In these articles I talk about the importance of having an academic blueprint. If you have not read these articles, please read them before continuing with this one, it will make more sense to you.

 

All of my kids graduated from Duncanville High School and their counseling staff did an excellent job in putting together a student handbook, which contained all the course requirements that the student needed upon graduation depending on the level of college they planned to attend (i.e. regular, competitive and very competitive schools).   This handbook made developing an academic blueprint for them much easier, because we had a picture of what the end results should be upon graduation.

 

Since I was in college when my oldest daughter was in middle school and high school, she did not receive as much benefit of an academic blueprint as the last two children, because I was still trying to figure out and executed my own academic blueprint. However; she still graduated with honors and ahead of schedule with her associate degree from Mountain View College and bachelor degree from The University of Texas at Arlington. She is a school teacher.

 

When my youngest daughter was in the 7^th grade, we developed an academic blueprint for her, based on the fact that she wanted to be a doctor. Her blueprint included all the honors and Advance Placement (AP) classes she needed to attend a very competitive college or university.

 

Also, she was able to participate in the Health Occupation Program, which allowed students to get experience in a medical facility while in high school. She initially thought she wanted to be a pediatrician, but after working with the sick children, she realized that was not the right area of medicine for her.

 

Another benefit of having an academic blueprint, it helps you to determine the path that is right for you. Also, it allows you to make adjustments with minimum lost of time and money.

 

With her academic blueprint, my daughter was able to graduate high school with honors, in the top 10% of her class, and with more than 20 college credit hours earned while in high school.  She received her bachelor degree from Texas A & M in College Station and her medical degree from The University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston. She is a Psychiatrist.

 

When my son was in the 7^th grade, we developed an academic blueprint for him. Since he had not totally decided what he wanted to do for his career, we decided to just make sure he met the requirements to attend a very competitive college or university upon finishing high school.    

 

When he was in the 11^th grade, he decided to take a Media Technology class, which provided him experience in broadcasting and mass communication. He soon found out that he was very good in this field. This program allowed him to develop his skills as a movie producer and broadcast journalist. He won several awards in his junior year. In his senior year, he won first place in the regional, state and national competitions in the video production category. He had found his niche!!

 

Another benefit of an academic blueprint, it allows you to explore various options to find your niche.

 

He graduated with honors, number 3 in a class of over 800 students (should have been the salutatorian, but a teacher changed his grade because he did not like him, another article for another time). He had over 30 college credit hours when he completed high school. 

 

He later attended The University of Texas at Austin and majored in Radio, TV and Film, graduating with a 4.0 GPA. Since he graduated with his first degree in three years, due to his advance status from high school, he pursued and received a second degree in Business Marketing the next year. He is a 3^rd year law student at Harvard Law School.

 

Because of the college credit hours received in high school, my youngest daughter and son never had to take more than 16 credit hours during a semester.

 

Another benefit of an academic blueprint, it allows you to receive an advance status in college while in high school and it reduces the course workload while in college.  Also, it can reduce the total cost of their college education, a huge benefit to parents!!

 

Dads, you may be saying, “That is all good, but my child is not “college” material.”

 

I fully understand that every child does not want to attend college; some children will choose the military or a trade or technical school. It does not matter which path they choose, if they have an academic blueprint it will reduce their chances of failure and increase the chances of them reaching the destination they desire.

 

Dads, if you want your child to succeed academically, you must help them develop an academic blueprint!!

 

Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.

 

Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!! 

 

For the woman in your life, my wife (Sylvia) has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com. 

 

Also, we have a joint site focused on the needs and concerns of couples (i.e. married, engaged, and seriously dating). This site is focused on helping couples to grow together through personal development. The site is called, www.marriagerhythm.com.  

 

Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts. 

    

Again, thanks for visiting this site.   

 

Randy

The “DASH” Guy

randyclark@thedashguy.com

www.thedashguy.com

Uncategorized academic, achievement, dreams, education, parenting, personal development, self-improvement, success

  

This article is a follow up to another article I wrote, “A Dad’s Blueprint For Academic Success Part 1”.  In this article I talk about the importance of having an academic blueprint.

 

 

Because I lacked an overall vision for my life, I thought having an academic blueprint was not important. But, I later found out how wrong I was!!!

 

After a few years of working as a computer programmer, I was doing pretty well financially, as a matter of fact; I was earning more money than some of my friends who had college degrees.

 

However; I decided that management provided me the best path to the destination I desired, so I returned to school to pursue a degree in Business Administration, with an emphasis in Management when I was 28 years old.

 

I looked at several local colleges and universities that had a management program and made a final selection. Based on my assessment, it was going to take me 7 years to obtain this degree, since I was on Plan B, meaning I would have to work full-time and go to school part-time at night.

 

When I met with the advisor at the local community college, I told her the school I had chosen and the program. She suggested that I get an associate degree on the way to earning my bachelor degree. I told her that was fine as long as all the credit hours for the associate degree would transfer to my bachelor degree, because I did not have any time to waste. She helped me develop my first academic blueprint.

 

After 3 years of attending classes in the fall, spring and summer I completed the requirements for the associate degree. I needed 61 credit hours for my associate degree, I had 63 credit hours when I finished.  

 

After 4 more years of attending classes in the fall, spring and summer I completed the requirements for the bachelor degree. I needed 129 credit hours for my bachelor degree, I had 131 credit hours when I finished. 

 

One of the benefits of having an academic blueprint, it shows you the shortest path to your destination!!

 

Dads, we have a great amount of influence in our children lives. It is through our actions they will establish some of their values. For example: If we only show up for sporting events, they will come to the conclusion that sports are more important than academics.

 

Unfortunately, too many Dads have made this mistake and sent their kids down a path that sacrifice their life and academic potential to the “sports gods” of our society (i.e. football, basketball, etc.).

 

When my son was about 8 years old, he came to me to discuss if he could play football. At first I was opposed to the idea, because he was an outstanding student and I didn’t want football to distract him from his academic pursuits. We agreed that if his grades started to drop, I was going to execute my own version of the “No Pass, No Play” rule regarding him. 

 

As a Dad, I wanted to make sure my children did not repeat my mistakes. I wanted them to understand the importance of education in helping them to accomplish the overall vision for their life.

 

I used my life as a college student as a “teachable” moment for my children. I wanted them to understand that through commitment you can have academic success, but I wanted them to not do it on a Plan B path like me, because the cost is much higher.   

 

I helped each of them to develop a blueprint for their academic success!!

 

You are probably asking by now, “What did you do to develop and implement the academic blueprints for your children?”

 

We started implementing their academic blueprints as early as Pre-K or earlier if you consider the training they received at home. When we purchased toys for them, we made sure they were teaching tools (i.e. word board games, speak & spells, etc.). We purchased lots of books for them to read, as well as enrolled them in reading programs at the local library during the summer months.

 

Also, we used BIG doses of encouragement when they solved math problems or spelled words correctly. We taught them that they were as smart as anyone else at their school. These actions boosted their confidence and self-esteem.

 

We used a reward system to help motivate and keep them focused. When they received their grade reports, they would receive additional money on their allowance for their grades. The amount they received was based on the letter grade and their grade level, because we knew the course work was harder in the higher grade levels.

 

During the 7^th grade year, we implement phase 2 of the academic blueprint. In the midst of the body changes, increase interest in the opposite sex, peer pressure, etc. that your child is going through; the blueprint will provide them a sense of direction and stability. During this period, we mapped out the main courses they would take each year through their senior year.

 

Another benefit of having an academic blueprint, it provides direction and a road map to your destination. 

 

In “A Dad’s Blueprint For Academic Success Part 3”, I will share more details on the benefits of having an academic blueprint.  

 

 

Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.

 

Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!! 

 

For the woman in your life, my wife (Sylvia) has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com. 

 

Also, we have a joint site focused on the needs and concerns of couples (i.e. married, engaged, and seriously dating). This site is focused on helping couples to grow together through personal development. The site is called, www.marriagerhythm.com.  

 

Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts. 

    

Again, thanks for visiting this site.   

 

Randy

The “DASH” Guy

randyclark@thedashguy.com

www.thedashguy.com

Uncategorized academic, achievement, dreams, education, parenting, personal development, self-improvement, success

 

As a new school year begin; I see and hear parents moaning and groaning about the challenges of finding the appropriate clothes and/or uniforms for their children. Also, the “sticker shock” they have experienced when they try to purchase these items. All of the stress and strain parents go through to help their children be successful in the up coming school year. 

 

However; I believe there is another important ingredient to academic success that is often overlooked or totally omitted by parents in their quest to help their child be successful? And that important ingredient is an academic blueprint (plan).

 

I hear you asking, “Why is an academic blueprint (plan) needed?”

 

If we want to be successful in anything in life we need to have a plan. 

 

Could you imagine a home-builder trying to construct a house without a blueprint (plan)? Just think what would happen if the electrician, the carpenter, the plumber and the brick mason were just allowed to “do their own thing” as it relates to their specific trades in building a house? You can be 100 percent sure of one thing, you will not like the results when it is complete!!

 

Likewise Dads; if we think that our children will be successful academically without a blueprint (plan), we are fooling ourselves and setting them up for failure.

 

Developing a blueprint for academic success, just like in developing a blueprint for a house; you must start with the end results or goal in mind. In other words, you must determine what the final outcome should be or the end results you want to achieve looks like.      

 

You must create a blueprint for academic success that supports the overall vision you have created for your child’s life. See “Dads, You Must Create A Vision For Your Child’s Life” for more information. 

 

In my own life, because I did not have an overall vision for my life, academic success was not important to me. I once viewed school as just something you had to endure for 12 years; which provided very little benefit to my long-term success in life.

 

I remember graduating from high school and did not have a clue what I would be doing for the rest of my life. As a result, I spent the next 5 years of my life, working on “dead end” jobs and trying to find “my place” in life.

 

A turning point came in my life when I was about 22 years old. I was working for a company in the House Keeping Department. One day as I went into this office to empty the trash cans, I saw a guy in the office with his feet on his desk. Since I went into this office area everyday as a part of my job responsibility, I knew this guy well and we often talked about various things.

 

On that day, I say to him, “I can’t believe this, you are sitting here with your feet on this desk making a lot of money and they want let me sit down for a minute and I am only making pennies.”   He told me something that day that changed my view of life in general and education specifically. He said, “Randy, they don’t pay me for what I do, they pay me for what I know.”

 

His comment to me was like someone hitting me on my head with a brick!! I had a “light bulb” moment that day!!

 

I think I made some “smart” comment back to him that day as a way to protect my bruised ego, but his words stayed in my mind.

 

I decided that day, if he could get paid for the knowledge he had, I could too!!

 

I enrolled immediately in a technical school and received a certificate in computer programming. Later, I went back to school and earn two degrees.

 

About 20 years after my conversation with the guy in that office, I had the privilege to talk with him again. I told him he probably did not remember that conversation, but I wanted to thank him, because what he told me that day changed my life.

 

I know you are asking by now, “What is the point of that story?” 

 

I learn on that day, the importance of education. Also, financial success in life is not about how hard you work, but about the value you provide to others.

 

Since I lacked an overall vision for my life, I thought having an academic blueprint was not important. But, I later found out how wrong I was!!!

 

Therefore; as a Dad, I didn’t want my children to repeat my mistakes. I wanted to make sure they understood the importance of education in helping them to accomplish the overall vision for their life.  See “Dads, You Must Create A Vision For Your Child’s Life” for more information. 

 

I sat down with each of them one-on-one and helped them to develop a blueprint for their academic success!!

 

In a follow up article, “A Dad’s Blueprint For Academic Success Part 2”, I will share more details on how to develop and implement an academic blueprint. 

 

 

Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.

 

Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!! 

 

For the woman in your life, my wife (Sylvia) has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com. 

 

Also, we have a joint site focused on the needs and concerns of couples (i.e. married, engaged, and seriously dating). This site is focused on helping couples to grow together through personal development. The site is called, www.marriagerhythm.com.  

 

Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts. 

    

Again, thanks for visiting this site.   

 

Randy

The “DASH” Guy

randyclark@thedashguy.com

www.thedashguy.com

Uncategorized academic, achievement, education, fatherhood, fathers, parenting, personal development, success

 

This article is a follow up to a previous article I wrote, “Poverty: A State Of Mind Or An Economic Status?” 

 

In the article, I indicated that there some major differences in how poor people and rich people think and live their lives. See “Poverty: A State Of Mind Or An Economic Status?” for more details on these differences.

 

You are probably asking, “How can I develop a mindset of abundance?”

 

I think the key can be found in looking again at some differences in how poor people and rich people think and live their lives.

 

Their view of life is different. Poor people live their lives in a “survival” mode; therefore; their decisions making is short-term in nature. In other words, they are consumed and pre-occupied with the basics of life (i.e. how to feed their families, how to pay their bills etc.). They do not or can not focus on their long-term future.

 

Also, since poor people have limited resources, when unexpected situations occur, they do not have any resources available to deal with these situations, adding more situations to their crisis management lifestyle.

 

Rich people live their lives in a “proactive or preventive” mode. They asset the various negative situations they face to see how to avoid, eliminate or mitigate these problems or risks in the future.  

 

For example: Since rich people live a lifestyle below their means, they establish “emergency” funds and savings to “buffer” them from some of the unexpected problems that will occur in life. Therefore; their lives are not consumed with the “crisis management” of poor people.

 

Their preparation and planning for life is different. Poor people spend their lives thinking about how to get more money and what they will buy when they get some money. Therefore; when they get additional funds, they spend it unwisely, because they have not invested time and energy in gaining knowledge and understanding of financial matters.

 

Rich people spend their lives gaining knowledge and understanding of financial matters, so when the money comes, they will know how to handle it.

 

Let’s look at a familiar Biblical story to help make this point clearer. In Matthew 25:14-28, we find The Parable of the Talents.

 

In the story a rich man goes on a journey and he calls three of his servants to give them stewardship responsibility of his resources while he is away.  

 

He entrusts to one servant five talents of money, another two talents, and the other one talent.  He gave to each servant, talents according to their ability.

 

The servant with five talents went out immediately and put his five talents to work and gained five more. The servant with two talents gained two more talents. Since these servants were able to double their original resources, it would suggest that they had knowledge of financial matters and a plan.

But, the servant with one talent went out and dug a hole in the ground and put his master’s money in it. The actions of this servant would suggest that he did not have the proper knowledge and understanding of financial matters or a plan.

 

The rich man returns home and calls the servants to get a report of what they had done with his money. The servant with five talents gave him a report that he now had 10 talents. The servant with two talents gave a report that he now had four talents.

But, the servant with one talent reported that he had only the original one talent the rich man gave him.  

 

The rich man commended the servant he gave five talents and the servant he gave two talents for their faithful stewardship. He gave them a portion of the gains they had received and additional stewardship responsibilities.

 

But, he reprimanded the servant with one talent, calling him lazy, because he knew what he expected of him, but he failed to carry it out, due to fear.   

 

The point I am trying to make is rich people invest time and energy in gaining knowledge and a better understanding of financial matters, to develop a plan to invest their money wisely, gaining more money. Because of the lack of knowledge and planning, poor people fail to invest their money wisely due to fear; therefore; they seldom gain additional resources.

 

Where they seek advice is different.  Poor people tend to seek advice from and listen to advice given by their “broke” friends and family members. Therefore, they are not able to gain the proper understanding of financial matters. The knowledge that poor people receives from these sources is seldom sound and accurate, that is the reason these “advisors” are broke themselves.

 

Rich people seek the advice of other successful people and hire experts in financial matters; therefore; the path to the financial success they desire becomes clearer.  

  

Developing an abundance mindset starts with gaining knowledge. Decide today, to become a “lifelong student” of learning, read books and seek the knowledge and guidance of other successful people.

 

Knowledge “opens” your mind to new possibilities. Oftentimes, poor people do not see themselves being successful or do not feel they “deserve” to have success in their life.

 

This thought process MUST change if you want to have an abundance mindset!!

 

I would like to recommend a couple books to assist you in the development of an abundance mindset: “The Working Man & Woman’s Guide to Becoming a Millionaire” by Al Herron and “Think a Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. (For your convenience I have provided links to purchase these books now in the Recommended Resources Section on this site).

 

If you desire to change your mindset and would like more specific assistance, personalize coaching is available. Please send me an email.

 

 

Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.

 

Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!! 

 

For the woman in your life, my wife (Sylvia) has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com. 

 

Also, we have a joint site focused on the needs and concerns of couples (i.e. married, engaged, and seriously dating). This site is focused on helping couples to grow together through personal development. The site is called, www.marriagerhythm.com.  

 

Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts. 

    

Again, thanks for visiting this site.   

 

Randy

The “DASH” Guy

randyclark@thedashguy.com

www.thedashguy.com

Uncategorized abundance, achievement, dreams, personal development, self-improvement, success

 

I hear someone saying, “Oh yes, it is for REAL, I know I am Broke!!”

 

But, if we examine the question closer, I believe we will see that “poverty” consist of more than my current economic status.

 

In other words, are there some additional factors other than money that separate the rich from the poor?

 

I believe there are some major differences in how poor people and rich people think and live their lives. Below I have listed just a few of these differences.

 

They think different. Poor people live their lives out of a mindset of scarcity. In other words, they say, “I don’t have but a little, so I need to hold on to the little bit I have.” Rich people live their lives out of a mindset of abundance. In other words, they say, “How can I invest what I have to earn more?”  

 

Financial decision making is different. Poor people make financial decisions based on how much something will cost them, if they invest. Rich people make financial decisions based on how much something will cost them, if they don’t invest.  For example: Poor people decide not to go to college, because they say they can’t afford it. Rich people decide to go to college, because they know that statistics indicates that those with a college degree will earn more income during their lifetime than those without a college education.

 

Career decision making is different. Poor people look for ways to work for their money. Rich people look for ways for their money to work for them. Let me give you an example to explain what I mean.

 

When poor people face tough economic times, their solution to financial survival is to “cut back” on their spending and/or get a part-time job to increase their income.     

 

When rich people face tough economic times, their solution to financial survival is to look for ways to improve their financial status by taking advantage of the down economy by investing in opportunities that will allow them to be stronger financially when the economy improves.

 

What they teach their children is different. Poor people teach their children to go to school to get an education (some don’t even teach this step), get a job and stay on that job so they can have an income when they retire.  

 

Rich people teach their children to go to school to get an education, to start a business or continue the family business, so they can have income when they retire and to leave a financial legacy for the next generation.

 

How they spend their money is different.  Poor people spend their current income on a lifestyle that makes them “appear” to be rich (i.e. luxury cars, houses, jewelry, etc.). Rich people spend their current income on a lifestyle that is below their means and invest the rest, so they can buy whatever they want later.

 

I know there are other differences between the poor and the rich, but I think you get the point.

 

If poor people want to break the “cycle” of poverty in their family, they have to start thinking and living their lives differently; otherwise; they will continue to struggle in life for generations to come.

 

In the future I will share some practical suggestions on how to develop an abundance mindset, which can help to eradicate poverty in your family for generations to come.

 

I would like to recommend a couple books to assist you in this transformation of your mind: “Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki and “Why We Want You To Be Rich” by Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki. (For your convenience I have provided links to purchase these books now in the Recommended Resources Section on this site).

 

If you desire to change your mindset and would like more specific assistance, personalize coaching is available. Please send me an email.

 

 

Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.

 

Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!! 

 

For the woman in your life, my wife (Sylvia) has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com. 

 

Also, we have a joint site focused on the needs and concerns of couples (i.e. married, engaged, and seriously dating). This site is focused on helping couples to grow together through personal development. The site is called, www.marriagerhythm.com.  

 

Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts. 

    

Again, thanks for visiting this site.   

 

Randy

The “DASH” Guy

randyclark@thedashguy.com

www.thedashguy.com

Uncategorized abundance, achievement, dreams, economic status, personal development, poor, poverty, self-improvement, success

In Southeast Asia the method for taming a wild elephant has been developed over thousands of years. When a wild young elephant is caught, it is tied up along side several experienced working elephants.

 

During the initial days, the young elephant is dragged to the training area against its will. This often cruel and painful process is intended to “break the will” of the young elephant and gain its total submission.  This process normally takes about a week.

 

Afterwards, the young elephant is tied to a wooden frame or between two trees, where it can’t move, but it tries over and over again to break free from the rope. The trainer uses the tactics of fear, pain, hunger, and thirst until the elephant stops resisting and totally submits. As the elephant starts to accept its fate, the trainer will allow it to take a bath and eat.     

 

I hear you asking, “Why are you talking to me about training elephants?”

 

I share this story, because many of us have had our “wills” broken and “potential” taken from us by others who did not recognize our full potential or they did it for their personal gain.

 

How often are the dreams of children destroyed and their spirits broken, because they were raised in a family that did not nurture and encourage them, but constantly reminded them of what they couldn’t do or would never become in life.

 

These are the “stakes” in the ground or more specifically in the minds of many of us, which has held us “captive” our entire life.

 

Again, I ask, “Who or What is holding you back?”

 

Was it an abusive father or step-father, who did not reach his full potential, because of the abuse he received from his father, has continued the cycle by physically and mentally abusing his own children; thus robbing his children of their potential?

 

Or was it a teacher, who was overly critical toward you and other students, because he had a professor in college who treated him poorly?

 

Or was it an insecure manager, who treated you any other staff persons badly, because he felt threaten by the potential of his staff?

 

Or was it a spouse or girlfriend who did not support your dreams, because she didn’t see herself being successful and had no dreams of her own?     

 

Or was it an education system, which has “trained” you like so many others to be employees, instead of employers?

 

Or maybe I did not mention your “stake” in this list, but you know what it is?

 

I am often amazed at the number of people who tell me that they do not like what they are doing in their career. Or they do not like where they are in life, but yet, these same individuals are not willing to make any changes in their life.

 

Albert Einstein says, “Insanity: is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

 

You will never be able to “break” free from the “stakes” in your life, unless you are “sick and tired” of your current situation and stop settling for the status quo.

 

The change must start in your mind first; then your actions will follow!! Right thoughts result in right actions!! Wrong thoughts result in wrong actions.

                                                                               

You must reject the “stakes” of your past, which has held you captive too long and start believing that you can achieve the success you desire.

 

Stop making excuses for your lack of success, accept responsibility for your actions, and start developing a plan to move your life to where you want it to be!!

 

In the future, I plan to share some thoughts on how to develop an abundance mindset, instead of a mindset of scarcity. Sometimes our scarcity mindset causes us to settle for the status quo, instead of stretching ourselves to reach our full potential.  Also, it can cause us to feel like we don’t deserve to be successful in life!!

 

I would like to recommend a couple books to assist you in this transformation of your mind: “Dare to Dream” by John Maxwell and “Why We Want You To Be Rich” by Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki. (For your convenience I have provided links to purchase these books now in the Recommended Section on this site).

 

 

Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.

 

Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!! 

 

For the woman in your life, my wife (Sylvia) has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com. 

 

Also, we have a joint site focused on the needs and concerns of couples (i.e. married, engaged, and seriously dating). This site is focused on helping couples to grow together through personal development. The site is called, www.marriagerhythm.com.  

 

Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts. 

    

Again, thanks for visiting this site.   

 

Randy

The “DASH” Guy

randyclark@thedashguy.com

www.thedashguy.com

Uncategorized achievement, men issues, men needs, success

 

This article is a follow-up to a previous article I wrote called, “Man, You Must Have a Plan B”.

But, if you are still asking, “Why do I need a Plan B?”  The answer is, because you need another option when your initial plan (Plan A) does not work out.  See  “Man, You Must Have a Plan B” for more information.

 

So what is a Plan B?

 

If you remember from the previous articile, I indicated that a  Plan B is,  ”A  secondary option that you have put together, which can be executed, if something or someone interrupts or interferes with your initial plan. The interruption may come in the form of a change in your management, a change in your health, a change in your financial situation, a change in your employment status, etc.” 

 

What if you realize you need a Plan B, but you don’t have one in place?

Or you don’t know where to start in developing a Plan B?

 

What should you do?

 

First of all, start by assessing one of the main resources you have available to use; your current skills. In other words, look at your current job to see if you can use your skills to start a part-time business.

For example: if you are a CPA, you can start a business preparing individual and/or business tax returns during your spare time. If you are a web designer for a corporation, you can develop websites for individual and small business clients during your spare time.

 

Secondly, what if you do not like what you are currently doing career wise and definitely do not want this occupation to be your Plan B option.  But,  you do not know what you want to do.

There are several resources available to assist you:

1.) Go to your local community college and ask them to give you an aptitude test, which will provide you  a list of fields you may want to consider, based on your interests and personal preferences

2.) The Myers-Briggs Career/Personality Test is a resource used by many corporations to match employees’ talent to job responsibilities

 3.) Marcus Buckingham has a book, “Now, Discover Your Strengths”, which is a good resource to help you identify your strengthens and what fields may be a good match for you.    Buckingham offers some online tools to help you with your personal assessment.

Buckingham’s book is based on the premise that if we focus on finding a career that matches what we like to do (strengthens), then we will enjoy it and will be more successful, instead of the more traditional approach of trying to get individuals to improve in areas they are not as strong in (weaknesses).  See Recommended Resources section to order book now.

 

Thirdly, what if you are tired of what you are currently doing, you may want to consider a brand new career, based on a  personal “passion or burden” you have. 

In other words, ask yourself, “If money was not a problem, what would I like to do?”

For example: If you always wanted to teach, but settled for another profession because of the money, now you may want to consider an alternative teacher certification program, which will allow you to do what you love; teach. Or you may have always wanted to start a non-profit to help at-risk youth; this may be the time to do it.

Depending on your age and financial situation, you may be able to start a business or get a job to now do something you really enjoy!!      

 

Fourthly, you may consider going back to school to earn that degree you started but never completed, or get an advance degree, or a certification in an area of interest.

 

Finally, you may want to consider starting a home-based business.

I hear some of you saying, “Say what?”  “I don’t want to sell greeting cards, newspapers, magazines, etc.” 

If these types of business ideas come to mind when you think of a home-based business, you need to take another serious look at this area. There are a number of very viable options available today, with the improvement in technology, which a lot of individuals are utilizing to supplement or replace their income.

Also, the home-based business option provides a lot of tax advantages, even for those who are still working in corporate America. And this option can provide a means for a smooth transition, after retirement or after a job loss.

Regardless of which option you choose, you must develop a Plan B. When you have a Plan B in place, it provides you more confidence and control during those uncertain days that follows an interruption in your initial plan.

If you would like more personalize assistance in developing your Plan B or would like more specific information on some Plan B options, feel free to contact me via the email address below, personal coaching and consulting is available in this area.

 

Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.

 

Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!! 

 

For the woman in your life, my wife (Sylvia) has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com. 

 

Also, we have a joint site focused on the needs and concerns of couples (i.e. married, engaged, and seriously dating). This site is focused on helping couples to grow together through personal development. The site is called, www.marriagerhythm.com.  

 

Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts. 

    

Again, thanks for visiting this site.   

 

Randy

The “DASH” Guy

randyclark@thedashguy.com

www.thedashguy.com

Uncategorized achievement, personal development, self-improvement, success, unemployed men

 

Men, if you have recently married or have been married for a while, but have not established who the number one woman is in your life, you are probably experiencing some “drama” between your wife, mother and/or your sisters.

 

As a matter of fact you don’t have to be married, but seriously dating, you may be already dealing with this issue.

 

I hear you asking, “Why is this important?”

 

Because your wife or girlfriend knows that your mother is responsible for giving birth to you, nurturing and caring for you for many years. Therefore; she knows she holds a special place in your heart and life. The same can be said regarding your sisters. They grew up with you and you all have shared many special occasions and memories together.

 

Since these women have a history of many years of love for you, your wife or girlfriend knows they have a lot of influence in your life.  Therefore; she wants to know, “Who is the number one woman in your life?”

 

If you are married, then the decision should be a very easy one. You must establish a healthy boundary for your mother and sisters, by letting them know that your wife is now the number one woman in your life. Yes, you still love them, but your wife comes first.

 

Men, if you fail to “man up” and handle your business in this area, your wife’s “in-laws” may become her “outlaws”, if you don’t deal with this issue properly!!

 

I realize for many of us this can be a difficult process, because many of us have not had our fathers involved in our lives, and Mom has been both our mother and father. Therefore; we feel a great deal of gratitude and loyalty to our mother.  See the About Section for more information on my story. Also, see Dealing With Your Daddy Wounds for more Information.   

 

I know from personal experience the problems this issue can cause in your marriage.

 

During the early years of my marriage, my wife, my mom, and sisters had some difficulties getting along. My mom and sisters would ask me  for help, because of my feeling of loyalty; I would do certain things they asked without discussing it with my wife. As a result, my wife felt disrespected.

 

Once I realized the problems this caused in my relationship with my wife, I knew I had to address this issue with my family. I had to let my mother and sisters know that my wife is now number one and they would have to respect her.

 

Therefore; when they called me afterward and asked for help, I let them know that I would discuss it with my wife and I would let them know what WE decided.  Soon they got the point and started including in their request, “Discuss it with your wife and let me know”.   

 

Now, their relationship is great!! They love and respect my wife and she loves and respects them as well. My mom views my wife as one of her daughters and my sisters see her as their sister.

 

Men, if you fail to deal with this situation; you will always feel like you are caught in a “tug-a-war” between these special women in your life. Once you deal with it properly, by establishing boundaries for your mom and/or sisters, they will be able to respect and hopefully love and appreciate your wife.

 

  

Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.

 

Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!! 

 

For the woman in your life, my wife (Sylvia) has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com. 

 

Also, we have a joint site focused on the needs and concerns of couples (i.e. married, engaged, and seriously dating). This site is focused on helping couples to grow together through personal development. The site is called, www.marriagerhythm.com.  

 

Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts. 

    

Again, thanks for visiting this site.   

 

Randy

The “DASH” Guy

randyclark@thedashguy.com

www.thedashguy.com

Uncategorized in-law issues, love and commitment, marriage

 

A door slams loudly!!

Then a voice from behind the door shouts, “You are not my daddy!! You can’t tell me what to do!!!” 

This kind of exchange is far too often the norm and represents the “battle cry” between a step-father and his step-child.

Some of you may have heard these exact words or something similar in your own home during an angry exchange with your step-child.

Research indicates that marriages involving “blended” families have only a 20% chance of surviving, due to the complex relationships that exists within this family unit. This family unit may consist of his children, her children, and our children. Also, it may include relationships with the other biological parents to the children involved, particularly if any of the children are minors.

Depending on the ages of the children involved, the amount of conflict and stress that exists in these family units may be more than a lot of men are willing to endure. Normally, the younger the children the easier it is for the step-father to be accepted into his new family. If there are teenagers and adult children involved in the family unit, the more difficult it is to “win” the acceptance of the step-children.

Unfortunately, too many men make a common mistake early in the marriage, which contributes to a lot of the problems in these family units.   They are too anxious to establish themselves as the “head” of this new family, so they try to “impose” their rules and system of discipline into the life of a child who is already accustom to the system established by the mother.

Men, if you try to discipline your step-child without a relationship of love, it is a disaster waiting to happen!!  The child will reject your attempt to discipline them and rebel against you.

What can a step-father do to help to minimize the negative impact of his presence in his new family?

The following are five suggestions to help a step-father to “gel” with his new family.

1.)   The step-father must realize that he is not marrying just the mother, but he is marrying a woman with a child(ren). They are a “package deal”.

2.)   He should work hard to establish a relationship with the child(ren) before the marriage occurs. If he is not able to establish a healthy relationship with the child(ren), he should think long and hard about if this relationship is the right one for him.

Oftentimes, children will “fight” against their mother’s new relationship, because it is a threat to what they may be hoping for, which is for their parents to get back together.       

3.)   He should let the child know he is not trying to take the place of their biological father, but he does care about them and want to have a good relationship with them.  

During this conversation, he should discuss with the child what they will call him. The child may or may not want to refer to him as Dad. However; the name they agree on should be something that shows him respect. In other words, the child should not call the step-father by his first name. If they do, it should include the title “Mr.” (ex. Mr. John).

4.)   He should let the child know that he is not trying to take their mother away from them. Since they both love her, they can share her love, because she loves them both.

5.)   He should slowly and cautiously implement any new rules or changes in the home, only after discussing them with his wife and getting her support. The step-father needs to make sure he has his wife’s buy-in on the changes, otherwise; the children will seek their mother’s help in rebelling against the proposed changes. 

Yes, the odds are against the survival of a “blended” family, but a large portion of the success or failure of this family unit is based on how the step-father handles his role in his new family.

If the step-father works to build relationships of love in his new family, he will be accepted into the family as a friend. If he tries to impose his will on the family, without healthy relationships built on love, he will be perceive as a foe, and rejected by the family.

 

Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.

Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!! 

For the woman in your life, my wife (Sylvia) has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com. 

Also, we have a joint site focused on the needs and concerns of couples (i.e. married, engaged, and seriously dating). This site is focused on helping couples to grow together through personal development. The site is called, www.marriagerhythm.com.  

Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts. 

Again, thanks for visiting this site.   

Randy

The “DASH” Guy

randyclark@thedashguy.com

www.thedashguy.com

Uncategorized blended family, fatherhood, manhood, parenting, step-dad, step-father, step-parent

 

I hear you asking, “Why do I need a Plan B?”  The answer is, because you need another option when your initial plan (Plan A) does not work out.

I know that sound very elementary for some of you, but you will be surprised how many people who go through life with one plan or no plan at all.

If any man wants to have true success in his life and achieve his long-term goals, he must have a Plan B.

So what is a Plan B?

A Plan B is a secondary option that you have put together, which can be executed, if something or someone interrupts or interferes with your initial plan. The interruption may come in the form of a change in your management, a change in your health, a change in your financial situation, a change in your employment status, etc. 

Let me shed some light on what I am talking about by using my own experience.

My last job in corporate America was in 2007. I was a Security Manager, with a Fortune 200 Company in the Dallas area. I had been with this company for almost 12 years and had been very successful. I was a mid-level manager, with a 6-figure income and a staff of about 50 people (employees and contractors).

However, my job situation started to change very quickly after the head of my organization retired; he was my manager’s manager. He was two levels above me on the organization chart.  

To make a long story, shorter, a new manager took over with a different agenda. The new manager told my manager that the managers in his organization did not have a security background (which was true) and they needed to find another position. 

A few months later, one of the other managers in my group and my direct manager, retired “un-expectantly”. 

In just a few months, I not only lost friends and colleagues, but the environment drastically changed for me. I knew I had to start executing my Plan B, because I was next on the list.

My wife and I already had a small business that we were working part-time; I now started to give this business more focus, because it now became a big part of my future.

I was able to leave my corporate job with a little more confidence and control, because I knew what I was going to do, I had a Plan B is place.

Recently, a lot of people were “caught” off guard when they received a “pink” slip and lost their job. Many did not have a Plan B in place; therefore; they did not know what they were going to do next. (See What Happens When a Man Lose His Job – Part 1, What Happens When a Man Lose His Job – Part 2 and Man,  Somebody Moved My Cheese for more information on this topic.)

Since you never know when someone else will make a “bone-head” decision that may cost you your job, you need to have a Plan B already in place.  

In the future, I will be sharing more information about how to develop a Plan B and provide some Plan B options.  

If you would like more personalize assistance in developing your Plan B, feel free to contact via email and I will follow up with you.

 

Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.

Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!! 

For the woman in your life, my wife (Sylvia) has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com. 

Also, we have a joint site focused on the needs and concerns of couples (i.e. married, engaged, and seriously dating). This site is focused on helping couples to grow together through personal development. The site is called, www.marriagerhythm.com.  

Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts. 

Again, thanks for visiting this site.   

 

Randy

The “DASH” Guy

randyclark@thedashguy.com

www.thedashguy.com

Uncategorized achievement, dreams, self-improvement, success