Dealing With Your Daddy Wounds
What are “daddy wounds”? Why do we need to deal with them?
You ask such great questions!!
First of all, what is a “daddy wound”? I believe the answer is pretty self explanatory, but just in case it is not. These are the wounds that a child experiences from the involvement or the lack there of, their father in their life. So a natural follow up question would be. Is there a difference between a father and a daddy?
Webster’s definition of a father: a man who has begotten a child. Notice this definition starts and stops at the point of the creation of the child. A man is recognized as a father because he was biologically able to produce a child. However; this does not mean he is a daddy.
In other words, I believe a man can be a father and not a daddy and vice-versa. See “What is a Dad?” for more information.
Let me explain what I mean. Just because a man can produce a child does not mean he is willing and able to take care of it. Likewise, just because a man is not biologically able to produce a child does not mean he is not willing and able to take care of a child.
Therefore; I believe a daddy is a term of endearment, which only someone else can bestow upon a man, based on a role or function he has performed in their life. See “What is a Dad?” for more information.
In my own life, I acknowledged the man who is my biological father, but he was not in my mind, my daddy. I considered my step-father as my daddy, because he was there to provide for me and to teach me the various things I needed to know as a young boy. See the “About” section for more information on my story.
You are probably asking, “How does this relate to daddy wounds?”
In life there are some implied expectations that are developed, due to the social norms of our society. I believe parents’ taking care of their children is an expectation that falls in this category. This expectation is so intertwined in the fabric of our society, that when men don’t take care of their children, they are dishonored and referred to as “dead-beat” dads.
Also, the child has some expectation of their father as well. They expect their father to take care of them, provide for them and to be involved in their life. When that does not occur, the child is left with a feeling of rejection and a sense of unworthiness, and a low sense of value, etc.
These feelings left uncorrected, leads to anger, rage and bitterness; resulting in “daddy wounds”.
If these daddy wounds are not addressed properly, children will develop a “poor” image of men and a negative “cycle” is passed on to future generations, due to the negative impact of their father. Therefore; boys develop a distorted view of manhood (i.e. fathering children without taking responsibility for their well-being). Also, girls grow up with a distorted view of men as well (i.e. seeking the affection and attention of a man, resulting in teenage pregnancy and unwed mothers). This negative cycle that has now been created continues throughout future generations, until someone decides to break it.
I saw a negative cycle among the men in my family. I decided to break the cycle. I didn’t want my daughters or my son to grow up without their father in their lives and have to deal with daddy wounds like me.
Men, if you see a negative cycle in your family like me. I am challenging you to break the cycle!! If your father was not the man he should have been in your life. Or if you have not been the man you should been in your child’s life; make a commitment today, to stop the cycle!! See “Happy Fathers Day” for more information. Also, request your FREE COPY of “10 Ways Dads Can Positively Impact Their Children”. (See the request box above.)
Our children deserve better!!
Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.
Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!!
For the woman in your life, my wife (Sylvia) has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com.
Also, we have a joint site focused on the needs and concerns of couples (i.e. married, engaged, and seriously dating). This site is focused on helping couples to grow together through personal development. The site is called, www.marriagerhythm.com.
Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts.
Again, thanks for visiting this site.
Randy
The “DASH” Guy
